


It's only a crisis if someone hits the panic button

by Legs (InsanityRule)



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: I accidentally abandoned this for a little but I started it after seeing Civil War, I named the bulldog Bill because I could, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 19:20:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7726648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsanityRule/pseuds/Legs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>midlife crisis<br/>noun<br/>an emotional crisis of identity and self-confidence that can occur in early middle age.</p><p>~</p><p>Gavin sits back and laces his fingers together. “That movie, it had a lot of nice tech in it.”<br/>“The mo- oh! You never did say if you liked Captain America or not. But whatever uh, yeah, Stark tech is pretty legit. Are you planning on like, doing some of that stuff? The flicky phone thing is pretty cool.”<br/>“Not exactly, or at least, not yet. First, I'm going to get the XYZ team to construct me a suit of armor.”<br/>Nelson blinks a couple times. “Wh-” he shakes his head. “Wait are- no, Gavin you can't be Iron Man.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's only a crisis if someone hits the panic button

Nelson unlocks the front door of Gavin's mansion and sets his bag down by a small table. He walks forward into the main entryway and calls out, “Gavin? You said you have a cool idea in your message so I rushed over, well after I finished eating dinner. You home?”

He wanders the main floor, checking all of the most common places Gavin could currently be, and he's thankful when he finds him in his usual study. There's a fire burning in the fireplace and two giant picture windows overlooking a particularly cloudy evening. When he takes in the dimmed lights and Gavin sitting at his desk with a weirdly dramatic, brooding face Nelson is sort of worried something's wrong.

“Are you going to tell me bad news or something?”

“Nelson,” he motions to an armchair and Nelson sits, “what good have I done for the world?”

“Oh, um, well Hooli started more habitat houses, right? And there's the scholarship-”

“That's Hooli, Nelson. What have I  _ personally  _ done to make the world better?”

“Um, is this a trick question?” Gavin's face, the serious scowl mainly, indicates this is not a trick and there's a long awkward pause while Nelson scrambles for an answer. “Am I supposed to say  _ nothing  _ or-”

“Yes! Clearly I've overlooked a key part of my life if I've gotten to the age of 42-”

“5.”

“And haven't done a _single_ significant beneficial act!”

Nelson helplessly gestures to a plaque Gavin received for donating money for a new hospital wing a year ago, but Gavin doesn't seem to notice.

“It's why I've been brainstorming,” or brooding in the dark based on his current setting, “and I have an important question for you; have you considered returning to work?”

“Uh,” he shakes his head, “nope. Haven't really ever had that thought so-”

“What if I have a plan that, if you agree, you could be CIO of Hooli, but I would do the work?”

Nelson sits for a couple seconds in silence, confused and more than a little worried. “Are you going on a trip or something?”

“No of course not, not yet at least.”

“Yet?”

“Nelson, you're aware that Hooli is a leading tech company, that we're known for making innovative products, yes?”

“Sure,” he nods. He's been using his new tablet from Hooli like crazy. “It's good stuff.”

Gavin sits back and laces his fingers together. “That movie, it had a lot of nice tech in it.”

“The mo- oh! You never did say if you liked Captain America or not. But whatever uh, yeah, Stark tech is pretty legit. Are you planning on like, doing some of that stuff? The flicky phone thing is pretty cool.”

“Not exactly, or at least, not yet. First, I'm going to get the XYZ team to construct me a suit of armor.”

Nelson blinks a couple times. “Wh-” he shakes his head. “Wait are- no, Gavin you can't be Iron Man.”

“I have plenty of money to fund this sort of project.”

“That  _ not  _ why I'm saying no.” He sighs. “Are you dying or something? Is this some sort of bucket list? First you lose like, twenty pounds-”

“I already told you it was a  _ cleanse _ .”

“And now you want to be Iron Man? Which you can't because it's like, super copyrighted and  _ not possible  _ because this isn't a comic book.” Gavin continues to pout in Nelson's general direction but he's not falling for it. “Can't you just go to Africa or something? Maybe bring running water to a village? Those are good things.”

“Nelson I've put a lot of thought into this plan,”  _ that's what I'm afraid of _ , “and my logic is foolproof. The similarities are uncanny. Billionaire, check. Tech genius, clearly. Handsome,” he looks to Nelson and obviously expects some sort of input, so Nelson nods, “of course. So what's missing?”

“Sanity?”

“A  _ suit  _ Nelson. But this obviously poses a problem with Hooli. I'll eventually spend more time away from the office, which is why I need a Pepper Potts, so to speak.”

“Did you miss the part where they're kind of broken up a little?” Nelson is not on board with this being some cryptic 'we should take a break' kind of talk. “You're not-”

“Of course not, and that isn't a concern in any case. I manage my time perfectly. But I'll need someone to help on the business side to be my eyes and ears.”

“And  _ I'm _ your first pick?” Obviously news to him, and  _ clearly  _ a poor decision.

“Pepper is an intelligent, shrewd businesswoman-”

“Literally none of that describes me.”

Gavin scoffs, “you're plenty intelligent, and you know how I think, which is the important part.”

Nelson fiddles with the seam on the armchair's arm. “Are you sure you can't just do a tour with the peace corps or something?” He begs. “There is literally no scenario with me as sole CIO that won't end in disaster.”

“I do wish you were more  _ confident  _ in the plan, but what if instead I rush the mind control headset project so I have a reliable, hands free way to contact you at all times.”

Nelson has to admit that, even if most of this plan is ridiculous, getting that project out the door would be  _ great  _ for Hooli, and he kind of wants to see his old team succeed. “You'll still do all the real work?” Gavin nods. “I can keep my incubator up and running?”

“Of course.”

He's  _ so  _ going to regret this. “I guess we can give it a shot.”

Gavin stands from his desk and walks around to Nelson's chair. He kisses him once, “I  _ knew  _ you'd see it my way,” as if Nelson  _ really  _ had a choice, “I'll start drafting a temporary employee pass, indefinitely available to you of course. You'll just have to come into the office and sit there. Bring whatever you like to entertain yourself.”

“Cool, I can do that,” he kisses Nelson again and leaves the room, presumably to start whatever the hell this plan is, and Nelson shakes his head. “Why can't he just buy a jet like a normal person having a midlife crisis?”

=

Nelson finds himself sitting at Gavin's desk the following morning while Gavin 'has a brainstorming session' with XYZ and, according to Gavin, not a 'ploy to speed their progress on the headset so they can work on his suit' like Nelson assumes. He’s fairly certain he’s correct though, and it is a ploy. Definitely a ploy.

He's been staring at two stacks of papers for the last hour and despite his best efforts, and one double gulp, he hasn't managed to make his arm move to start sorting them.

He gives in and calls Gavin's VPs. “So uh, who usually sorts this stuff?”

Patrice gives him a sympathetic look and grabs the stacks. “Rogelio, can you and Scott start on these?” They both accept one of the stacks and scurry out of the office. “Normally it's Gavin's assistant, but they're-”

“Helping Gavin, right.”

“Yes,” and because of that awkward pause before her reply Nelson realizes they both know what Gavin's currently up to, and neither of them want to admit it out loud.

“Gavin is...” Patrice takes a moment to collect her thoughts, “he's a very intelligent man. And his whims are generally to everyone's benefit, but his recent...”

Nelson is struck with the conclusion that Patrice, with her years of experience, would probably make a better Pepper Potts. “Personal project?”

“Exactly. It's… well Scott, Rogelio, and I,” he has a feeling it's mostly her, “have a few… concerns. Not that it isn't brilliant or well-meaning in the right setting.”

“It's just...” Nelson waves a hand.

“Impractical.” Patrice adds, and he nods vigorously. “A cute idea, certainly something he could enjoy as a pet project of sorts, but Gavin's skill set is...” Nelson takes a deep breath, aware that he's feeling a bit embarrassed for how awkward this conversation has already been, but he lets Patrice continue, “it's better suited for Hooli, and managing this company.”

“I am  _ not  _ well suited to sit at this desk,” Nelson admits. It's not a shock when Patrice nods knowingly, and again with sympathy in her eyes, which Nelson is alright with because he recognizes when he's way out of his league.

“Because of your-” Nelson's eyes bug out and she covers up whatever she was about to say with a cough, “you and Gavin share a certain, personal connection,”  _ God how many of these people know this?  _ “and I think, with your  _ connection, _ ”  _ seriously just say we fuck it's probably less awkward somehow _ , “you have a certain amount of influence over Gavin's life.”

“Our connection. As in, the part where we,” he waves his hands again. He honestly can't think of a way to end this conversation on a positive note and he's decided to just let them both dig this hole to hell together.

“Right. He may take criticism better from you, based on past experience,” she means the part where Gavin's chilled out on the whole 'sexually aggressive comments' he was so fond of before, “and I think you might be able to make some actual progress.”

“Where progress is just-”

“It's in everyone's best interest really if this plan just… goes away. For a little while.”

Or forever. “Yeah I think it's-” he jumps as his pocket starts screaming out the Iron Man song, “son of a- hold on, I have a bad feeling I know who this is.” He grabs out his phone and hits answer. “When the hell did you change my ringtone for you?”

“I have a problem down at XYZ, if you're available for a brainstorming session.”

As if he has any  _ other  _ pressing matters he needs to tend to while he's fucking around at Hooli today, “yeah, sure. Be right there.” He hangs up and points to Patrice. “So, nixing the whole thing. Got it.”

=

He rides the elevator down to the ground floor, passes by the cafeteria long enough to get himself a refill for his soda, and slowly meanders into the XYZ workspace and finds, well he’s surprised he’s not walking into a tantrum of some sorts, but the uncomfortable silence is still a pretty bad sign. Nelson turns around and sees Gavin off in a corner, brooding again, with his arms limp at his sides and a ‘why has the entire world failed to meet my expectations’ look on his face.

“Hey, rough meeting?” He whispers once he’s close enough for Gavin to hear, and the angry crease at the corners of Gavin’s eyes ease a fraction, but the obvious  _ hurt  _ over whatever the team told him about his plans is rather sad, and somehow pulling Nelson over to Gavin’s side in support of the suit.

Clearly Gavin is going all out on this little crisis, which is starting to look like a  _ big  _ crisis, and Nelson’s beginning to wonder if letting him have what he wants would be the better option.

“I think my old office down here is unoccupied,” he gestures with his soda hand towards the door, and tilts his head once before starting to make the walk across the room to his office. Ex office. It still has his old couch he dragged in there and when he checks the bottom drawer of his desk there’s still a stash of Red Vines, so  _ maybe  _ he can still call it his office. When he stands back up, candy in hand, he finds Gavin there, dimming the lights because  _ of course  _ he is, and quietly closing the door and shutting the blinds before sinking onto one half of the couch with a long-suffering sigh. “It  _ can’t  _ have been that bad.”

“The  _ team  _ suggested a time line for a suit like that, suggesting that technology isn’t ready to create the  _ AI  _ necessary to aid in the function, and they’ll need at least a few  _ years,  _ possibly  _ decades  _ before something like that can be achieved.”

“Well, most of that movie  _ is  _ kind of, you know, in a futuristic setting, sort of,” he settles sideways on the couch and gently drapes his legs over Gavin’s lap. Gavin places his hands on Nelson’s right calf, “guess you better press for the headset thingy first.”

“They’re excited about that project.”

“Yeah they did think it was cool.” Nelson drags a throw blanket off the back of his couch and drapes it over himself sloppily. The idea was to make it obvious that he’s going to fall asleep, not to communicate that he’s cold or anything.

“I suppose you’re not going to actually help me light a fire under their asses considering your current state.”

“You caught me,” and he yawns. Definitely time for a nap. “Maybe give them a few days or whatever, go back upstairs and do stuff. Cuz there’s a lot of papers on your desk and honestly, they were super wordy and I didn’t look at any of it.”

“I’m afraid moving is less than possible if you’re going to insist on using me as a footrest,” and Nelson doesn’t actually bother trying to move his feet, and Gavin makes no effort to make him, “but I suppose we could use this time to properly brainstorm the next few weeks, do some proper research regarding the technology required to make a suit.”

“Yep, brainstorming. I can do that,” his eyes are closed and he can feel himself falling asleep but he’s still helping. Probably.

Vaguely he thinks of Patrice, and the recommendation that they try to drop this project as quickly as possible, but when he opens his eyes again Gavin it looking way less unhappy about his plan not happening within his preferred time line, so he decides a few more weeks of this will be okay.

=

Gavin agrees to spend more time at his desk in the coming months, with the promise that he  _ will  _ be coming up with more plans for his suit, so Nelson returns to his lazy routine of incubating new tech people and napping with an equally lazy bulldog and plenty of snacks within reach. Letting Gavin work this out of his system can't hurt.

As it turns out, two weeks can't hurt, apparently, but at the start of the third week Nelson gets a phonecall at home, while he's still mostly asleep in bed, and  _ definitely  _ not in a state where he can competently answer any questions, but he's willing to try. He sits up and drags his phone over by its charge cord, using one hand to maneuver it up to his ear and the other to pet Bill.

“'Lo?”

“Nelson, this is Patrice, and I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but I  _ thought  _ we were in agreement about Gavin's little side project.”

“The suit thing? I figured he'd work it out of his system.”

“Well, he  _ hasn't,  _ and today at the board meeting…” she pauses, he can imagine the concern on her face. Definitely a Pepper face. “They, in not so many words, informed Gavin that if he plans on remaining CIO he needs to reprioritize projects that are  _ actually  _ beneficial to Hooli.”

“Oh fuck, okay,” he crawls out of bed and motions to Bill to follow, which he doesn't. Lucky bastard. “I'll be there soon.”

“That's the thing. Gavin isn't  _ here _ right now. He said he was going to leave campus to think, and he hasn't come back yet. I've adjusted his schedule to reflect his absence, but we don't know where he's gone.”

“Ho boy. Um… give me like, one hour. I think I have an idea.”

=

Nelson bustles around, filling the dog dish and throwing on some mostly clean clothes before hopping on the bus and heading for the technology museum. There's a nice, tasteful exhibit there about the history of Hooli, and on particularly bad days Gavin goes there to read the nice plaques and newspaper articles praising his innovation and success in the industry.

Gavin's not exactly  _ hidden  _ but he is wearing a sweatshirt with the hood up, and his hands shoved deep in the fleece pockets, looking  _ very  _ similar to a certain coding genius Nelson's had plenty of experience consoling back in high school, but that's not something Gavin will want to hear, so Nelson just recalls memories of helping Richard and starts applying what he knows to the situation.

Humor, light humor, and make a reference he'll recognize. “If this is your way of telling me you have like, memory loss or something I'm sure we can manage.”

“The board thinks I have ah, lost sight of my  _ priorities _ , and they  _ suggested  _ I take some time to reassess what I think is actually valuable to Hooli, and leave other  _ personal  _ projects at home where they belong.” He snarls, but he's also  _ whining _ , just a little; a kid that just got told no. But also something else, something that feels more serious than a silly plan getting derailed by  _ actual  _ responsibilities.

“Maybe you can get an AI department for research.”

“We're focusing on the headset, because the  _ fucking board _ wants to make things that are  _ profitable _ .”

Don't point out hypocritical statements until he's calmed down. “I think I know why you wanted to do this so bad.”

Don't worry if he doesn't answer. He's just unhappy. “So like, it's real hard for you to be distinct you from Hooli, cuz you're kind of the reason it's around, but like, none of the good stuff you're involved with is  _ separate  _ from Hooli, so it's like it's  _ just  _ Hooli doing it.”

Also, if he's being quiet it probably means you're right. “You wanna have it be  _ just  _ you, right? No Hooli? Cuz, I hate to break it to you, but if they're the one that makes the suit it's still kind of them.”

“Hooli does a lot of good.”

“Yeah, totally,” he steps a few feet closer and pats Gavin on the back. He reads the headline 'Gavin Belson of Hooli donates…’ and yeah, this all makes a lot of sense.“And that's  _ good _ , but I had an idea, if you wanted to do something good  _ without _ Hooli being involved. And people might not know but was you but  _ you'll  _ know, you know?”

“You might have lost me a bit.”

“Just go back to work and I'll bring something by at the end of the day, okay? Trust me.”

=

The next morning Nelson smiles as he reads through the morning headlines and spots an article about a  'sizeable anonymous donation’ made to Doctors of the World. Gavin gets his good deed, people are helped, and this solution to Gavin's midlife crisis is  _ definitely _ preferable over being Iron Man. 

Although, he  _ still  _ could have just bought a stupid jet.


End file.
